Wild Earth Integration

You can’t feel it right now, but there are bugs all over you.

Before you freak out and jump in the shower, rest assured that if it weren’t for some of these microscopic critters, you probably wouldn’t be here. Many of these bugs keep us healthy and on any given day, you’re sharing your body with about 90 trillion or so.

In other words, resistance is futile!

So, who’s setting up shop on your body? Here are 3 animals that call you home.

DEMODEX

Do you recognize this one? Eight-legged demodex is a worm-like mite that likes to hang out near hair follicles. Specifically, this guy is particularly partial to your eyelashes. Adults are only 0.03 mm long, so you won’t actually see them crawling around up there. The cool thing about these guys? Their bodies are so efficient, they only have a mouth. That is to say, ahem, that there is no exit. They use everything they eat without any waste!

LACTOBACILLUS ACIDOPHILUS

Don’t let the big name on this fella freak you out – lactobacillus is one of the good guys. In fact, I bet most of you have even walked into a grocery store and purposely bought food with Mr. Lactobac in it. You know all those commercials for yogurt that are pimping out the good bacteria? They’re talking about this one. Lactobacillus lives throughout your body, especially in your mouth and stomach. With this guy on the job, most people have improved immune function and a healthier GI tract. Eat up!

YOUR DNA

Yup, you read that right. Research has shown that 8% of our DNA comes from a virus and not one of our ancestors. This happens through a process called endogenization. These viruses (called bornaviruses) can cause disease in horses and sheep. Thankfully, we are not horses nor sheep. For the most part, we seem to be doing okay with this virus within us. It’s possible that this viruses causes mutation that leads to schizophrenia, but the labcoats haven’t ironed out all the details on that one.

So there you have it!  We are walking, talking ecosystems. Just another way we are all connected…

Have a wild Friday!

P.S Sorry if I made you itchy…

If you know me even a little bit, you know I’m a fan of Die Hard. What’s not to love? There’s explosions, gratuitous sarcasm and of course, Ka-Bruce Willis.

But, we’re here to talk nature. In the spirit of Die Hard, here are five extinct creatures that could show Bruce Willis a thing or two. And for the record, I’m not even talking about Bruce in the first Die Hard – where he’s wandering barefoot the whole film – I’m talking about Bruce in Die Hard 4. That’s the one where he drives a car off a ramp into a flying helicopter.

So yeah, these animals are pretty awesome.

THE SMILODON

The smilodon is probably one of the first guys you think of when you think of extinct animals. These pack animals were around in the late Pleistocene and were the one of the last bigtime predators before our own human ancestors came along. Their claim to fame? Eight inch canine teeth. These would deliver a devastating puncture wound through prey windpipes. Incidentally, they would also deliver nightmares to humans who came later.

ANDREWSARCHUS

This fifteen foot long monstrosity was the largest mammalian carnivore in the history of this planet. Basically, picture a massive 6 foot tall wolf with hooves. Who did Andrewsarchus become? Turns out his modern cousin is the sheep. Bahh indeed.

TYRANNOSAURUS REX

Probably the most famous of all things extinct, thanks to a certain blockbuster movie that shall remain nameless. These babies weighed about 7 tons and was over 40 feet long from teeth to tail. Although only one is famous, we’ve found 30 species of T-Rex with complete skeletons and even some soft tissue. Don’t worry, they won’t add in frog DNA and bring them back to life. Humans aren’t that silly, right?

THE IRISH DEER

Move over, Bambi – this deer meant business. Another specimen from the late Pleistocene, this deer stood about as high as a moose, but had a rack of antlers that spanned over ten-twelve feet. It lived in Eurasia and Ireland (surprise) and up until about 7,700 years ago was pretty much the King. There’s no way Bruce could escape this one, unless, say, he walked through a door frame.

MOSASAUR

Mosasaur was the most terrifying reptile to ever exist. Picture a crocodile, mixed with a Great White Shark – then add some mad growth hormones. Mosasaur was 50 feet long, with a sensitive inner ear that allowed it to perform aquatic acrobatics like no other creature. It was fast. Of course, I have to mention the teeth. These graced not only the top and bottom jaw, but also the roof of its mouth. Even Bruce Willis wouldn’t have a prayer next to the Mosasaur. In fact, if it weren’t for that asteroid that hit us, they’d still be around today. Thanks, asteroid.

Have a wild Wednesday!

Ahh, l’amour! Love is a many splendor’d thing, love lifts us up where we belong – all you need is love! But of course, we humans aren’t the only ones searching for love. This Valentine’s Day – creatures everywhere are looking for their special someone. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?

To lend my fellow creatures a hand in their quest for their other half, I give you some of their Wild Classifieds.

Quiet, shy, traditional fellow looking for down-to-earth companion to share cabbage, long, long walks in the forest and Clark Gable movies. Won’t you be the carapace to my plastron? Apply in-shell: Stuart.

Tall, dark-eyed female looking for nice guy who smells good and doesn’t chase cars. Must love off-roading, chewing Kleenex and must NEVER hog the frisbee. Please, no bitches.

Seriously, I’m like just looking for a guy, who won’t like, try and spray me on the first date. I mean, really, that’s like totally disgusting and who wants to come home smelling like that? Are you kidding? My mother would freeeeak. Puh-leeze. Contact: Rose

Yes, hello. Is this thing on? Get a hold of yourself, minion. Hello. I am placing this ad to request aid in teaching my human a lesson. He does not prepare spaghetti to my liking and has taken to calling me ‘Trixie’ despite my obvious proclivity towards male dominant behavior. I fear, without the help of a suitable feline – his days are numbered. Respond today and together, we shall rise to the occasion and conquer the enemy. Fare thee well, biped.

Trixie, indeed. Contact: Spartacus

Holla! Lookin 4 a luvly lady to share nibbles of korn, gr8 cuddles and rollz in my plastic ball. Must B fun, Xciting and hate cats. Life is short, baby – so let’s B 4 Realz! No smokerz. Contact: JIMI4EVA

Have a wild Valentine’s Day everybody!

Happy Groundhog Day everybody!

Sorry for being MIA yesterday, I was having a bit of a long weekend (don’t be jealous, it was only because I had a Monday dentist appointment in my hometown). *thumbs down*

In other less toothy news, today’s the day! Will the groundhog see his shadow? Will spring ever come back? Today is the only day a year we place all of our seasonal hopes and ambitions into the paws of a rodent.

But he’s a classy rodent at least.

To celebrate this rodent’s return, I give you the Wild 5: Groundhog Edition.

• Groundhog Day wasn’t always Groundhog Day. Ancient Romans used to believe that early February was a good indicator of future weather patterns, but instead they turned to a hedgehog for their predictions. So it was more of a Hedgehog Day.

• Groundhogs are one of 14 species of marmots. They’re cousins to the squirrel (but don’t often show up to family reunions) and are also called woodchucks and whistle pigs. This name comes from the loud whistle they use as an alarm call when danger drops by.

• Groundhogs build themselves burrow mansions under the ground with many chambers, including a bathroom. They’ll remove 700 pounds of soil for a 20 foot burrow. In other words, if groundhogs did chuck wood, they would chuck about 700 pounds worth. Now you know.

• When he hibernates, Mr. Groundhog reduces his heart rate to 5 beats a minute. Normally, that’s up somewhere around 80. If you’re a fan of the Princess Bride, we call that ‘mostly dead’.

• Groundhogs can climb trees. Remember that the next time a groundhog is chasing you and you think a tree will save you! *groundhog victory*

For the record, I think there should be more animal related holidays. Like Blue Footed Booby Beach Day and Turtle Tax Day.

Can you think of any others?

Keep it wild!