Wild Earth Integration

Ahh, l’amour! Love is a many splendor’d thing, love lifts us up where we belong – all you need is love! But of course, we humans aren’t the only ones searching for love. This Valentine’s Day – creatures everywhere are looking for their special someone. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?

To lend my fellow creatures a hand in their quest for their other half, I give you some of their Wild Classifieds.

Quiet, shy, traditional fellow looking for down-to-earth companion to share cabbage, long, long walks in the forest and Clark Gable movies. Won’t you be the carapace to my plastron? Apply in-shell: Stuart.

Tall, dark-eyed female looking for nice guy who smells good and doesn’t chase cars. Must love off-roading, chewing Kleenex and must NEVER hog the frisbee. Please, no bitches.

Seriously, I’m like just looking for a guy, who won’t like, try and spray me on the first date. I mean, really, that’s like totally disgusting and who wants to come home smelling like that? Are you kidding? My mother would freeeeak. Puh-leeze. Contact: Rose

Yes, hello. Is this thing on? Get a hold of yourself, minion. Hello. I am placing this ad to request aid in teaching my human a lesson. He does not prepare spaghetti to my liking and has taken to calling me ‘Trixie’ despite my obvious proclivity towards male dominant behavior. I fear, without the help of a suitable feline – his days are numbered. Respond today and together, we shall rise to the occasion and conquer the enemy. Fare thee well, biped.

Trixie, indeed. Contact: Spartacus

Holla! Lookin 4 a luvly lady to share nibbles of korn, gr8 cuddles and rollz in my plastic ball. Must B fun, Xciting and hate cats. Life is short, baby – so let’s B 4 Realz! No smokerz. Contact: JIMI4EVA

Have a wild Valentine’s Day everybody!