Wild Earth Integration

Where oh where have I been? Writing!

I’m currently working on two books right now and the whole literary gauntlet has gotten me thinking about the nature of writing.

While staring aimlessly out the window slaving away at the computer, I realized that nature has a lot of lessons to offer, even to the big, bad world of publishing. So for my fellow writers out there (or readers, we’re all friends here), here are a few thoughts on writing, and nature.

• Great things take time. Even the best books out there started with a first line. If you really want to see how important they are, grab some classics and read only the first sentence. Call me Ishmael, indeed. But the point here is that everything starts small. A great example of this is the butterfly. Everybody’s favorite flying tapestry started out first as a little grub, then a caterpillar, then a chrysalis and then and only then the beautiful butterfly we all recognize. Go easy on yourself during your grub stage.

• Go with it, but don’t go crazy. You wouldn’t expect a cheetah to run 70 clicks an hour without stopping. The writing process has its ups and downs – sometimes you’re off with a vengeance, clicking away on the keys like a hummingbird on speed. These moments normally arrive after percolating for minutes, hours or even days. But inevitably, they end and you’re left with either a piece worth keeping or a rant. The cheetah doesn’t know if it’s going to catch the gazelle, but it runs like mad when it can anyways. If it doesn’t, it saves its energy for the next run. It’s all about taking the chance when it’s there without overdoing it.

• Rest. This is one of the most important yet overlooked parts of the writing process. Everything needs time to recoup after working hard. What the hell do you think winter is? You may not realize it, but when you’re ‘resting’ you’re also taking in ideas, forming new ideas and practicing phrasings in your head. In the same way winter incubates new life for the spring, your mind incubates new ideas when you’re chilling!

I hope you’ve all been doing well out there – keep it wild!

It’s getting sunnier. And staying sunnier. Even as I write this, my normal winter backdrop of frosty dark morning is now replaced with a beam of sunlight in a bright blue sky.

Spring is sooo coming.

I’ve had a lot of people ask how Gerry, my resident squirrel neighbor, is doing. As you can see, Gerry has taken to napping on our back porch. This is, of course, after gorging himself on birdseed which he faithfully receives everyday.

What better way to enjoy the last of winter than with one last seasonal catnap? Sorry, squirrel nap.

I highly recommend them.

Keep it wild!

“Simplify, Simplify” – Henry David Thoreau

THEN: sandbox

NOW: sanitizers

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THEN: conversation

NOW: American Idol

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THEN: Tag

NOW: Teletubbies

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THEN: Sunshine

NOW: Vitamin D tablets

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THEN: Homework

NOW: www.allfreeessays.com

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THEN: reality

NOW: virtual reality

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THEN: farms

NOW: factories

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THEN: grass-fed

NOW: hormone-fed

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THEN: Books

NOW: e-books

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THEN: soil

NOW: landfill

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THEN: tree-climbing

NOW: corporate climbing

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THEN: Salad

NOW: Snack Size Fruit & Walnut Salad – Apple slices and red grapes [apples, red grapes, calcium ascorbate (a blend of calcium and vitamin C added to maintain natural freshness and color)] Vanilla Lowfat Yogurt [cultured pasteurized Grade A reduced milk fat, sugar, food starch-modified, fructose, whey protein concentrate, corn starch, kosher gelatin, natural (plant source) and artificial flavor, potassium sorbate (added to maintain freshness), artificial color], candied walnuts [walnuts, TBHQ and BHT added as preservatives) sugar, peanut oil, dry honey, salt, wheat starch, maltodextrin, xanthan gum, soy lecithin, natural (plant source) and artificial flavor.]

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THEN: leg warmers

NOW: global warmers

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THEN: Pad of paper

NOW: iPad

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THEN: filling minds

NOW: filling houses

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THEN: off-the-clock

NOW: ’round-the-clock

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THEN: coffee

NOW: double decaf latte with mocha sprinkles

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THEN: green space

NOW: no space

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived” – Henry David Thoreau

Did you know that spending time in nature actually alters your body chemistry? Being outside – in the sun, or under a tree, or by the ocean changes who you are physically.

No, you won’t sprout another arm or anything – nature changes you for the better.

I know my lovely readers like examples, so here’s a nice one:

The ocean (take your pick on which one). When you stand and listen to the ocean, you’re hearing the waves lap in at approximately 12-16 waves a minute. This corresponds exactly to our optimal heart rates. Listening to the ocean not only lowers your blood pressure naturally and effectively, it increases those ‘feel good’ chemicals in your brain. Ocean waves also force you to slow down your breathing, getting rid of those shallow, awful breaths we so often take.

All of these changes lead to a healthier you – without even having to cash in on your drug plan. Booya.

There’s a reason people turn to nature when their lives are stressful. We’re meant to be out there.

As science catches up with the simple truths of life, I think we’ll find that many of the aspects of nature are specifically tailored to our bodies in some harmonious and amazing ways.

If the closest thing you have to the Ocean is your copy of The Little Mermaid, fear not. Another great thing our about our brains is that they’re easily fooled.

Through the magic of the internet, you can reach the ocean with a click of the mouse.

Keep it wild! And remember…

I can’t take credit for this photo – my better half was out there braving the flurry to get it.

This bad boy was originally chasing down a sparrow, but gave up and decided instead to just look regal. (I wish I could look that regal just by sitting and turning my head.)

Another good reason to keep lookin’ up, no?

Keep it wild, world!

You can’t feel it right now, but there are bugs all over you.

Before you freak out and jump in the shower, rest assured that if it weren’t for some of these microscopic critters, you probably wouldn’t be here. Many of these bugs keep us healthy and on any given day, you’re sharing your body with about 90 trillion or so.

In other words, resistance is futile!

So, who’s setting up shop on your body? Here are 3 animals that call you home.

DEMODEX

Do you recognize this one? Eight-legged demodex is a worm-like mite that likes to hang out near hair follicles. Specifically, this guy is particularly partial to your eyelashes. Adults are only 0.03 mm long, so you won’t actually see them crawling around up there. The cool thing about these guys? Their bodies are so efficient, they only have a mouth. That is to say, ahem, that there is no exit. They use everything they eat without any waste!

LACTOBACILLUS ACIDOPHILUS

Don’t let the big name on this fella freak you out – lactobacillus is one of the good guys. In fact, I bet most of you have even walked into a grocery store and purposely bought food with Mr. Lactobac in it. You know all those commercials for yogurt that are pimping out the good bacteria? They’re talking about this one. Lactobacillus lives throughout your body, especially in your mouth and stomach. With this guy on the job, most people have improved immune function and a healthier GI tract. Eat up!

YOUR DNA

Yup, you read that right. Research has shown that 8% of our DNA comes from a virus and not one of our ancestors. This happens through a process called endogenization. These viruses (called bornaviruses) can cause disease in horses and sheep. Thankfully, we are not horses nor sheep. For the most part, we seem to be doing okay with this virus within us. It’s possible that this viruses causes mutation that leads to schizophrenia, but the labcoats haven’t ironed out all the details on that one.

So there you have it!  We are walking, talking ecosystems. Just another way we are all connected…

Have a wild Friday!

P.S Sorry if I made you itchy…

If you know me even a little bit, you know I’m a fan of Die Hard. What’s not to love? There’s explosions, gratuitous sarcasm and of course, Ka-Bruce Willis.

But, we’re here to talk nature. In the spirit of Die Hard, here are five extinct creatures that could show Bruce Willis a thing or two. And for the record, I’m not even talking about Bruce in the first Die Hard – where he’s wandering barefoot the whole film – I’m talking about Bruce in Die Hard 4. That’s the one where he drives a car off a ramp into a flying helicopter.

So yeah, these animals are pretty awesome.

THE SMILODON

The smilodon is probably one of the first guys you think of when you think of extinct animals. These pack animals were around in the late Pleistocene and were the one of the last bigtime predators before our own human ancestors came along. Their claim to fame? Eight inch canine teeth. These would deliver a devastating puncture wound through prey windpipes. Incidentally, they would also deliver nightmares to humans who came later.

ANDREWSARCHUS

This fifteen foot long monstrosity was the largest mammalian carnivore in the history of this planet. Basically, picture a massive 6 foot tall wolf with hooves. Who did Andrewsarchus become? Turns out his modern cousin is the sheep. Bahh indeed.

TYRANNOSAURUS REX

Probably the most famous of all things extinct, thanks to a certain blockbuster movie that shall remain nameless. These babies weighed about 7 tons and was over 40 feet long from teeth to tail. Although only one is famous, we’ve found 30 species of T-Rex with complete skeletons and even some soft tissue. Don’t worry, they won’t add in frog DNA and bring them back to life. Humans aren’t that silly, right?

THE IRISH DEER

Move over, Bambi – this deer meant business. Another specimen from the late Pleistocene, this deer stood about as high as a moose, but had a rack of antlers that spanned over ten-twelve feet. It lived in Eurasia and Ireland (surprise) and up until about 7,700 years ago was pretty much the King. There’s no way Bruce could escape this one, unless, say, he walked through a door frame.

MOSASAUR

Mosasaur was the most terrifying reptile to ever exist. Picture a crocodile, mixed with a Great White Shark – then add some mad growth hormones. Mosasaur was 50 feet long, with a sensitive inner ear that allowed it to perform aquatic acrobatics like no other creature. It was fast. Of course, I have to mention the teeth. These graced not only the top and bottom jaw, but also the roof of its mouth. Even Bruce Willis wouldn’t have a prayer next to the Mosasaur. In fact, if it weren’t for that asteroid that hit us, they’d still be around today. Thanks, asteroid.

Have a wild Wednesday!

Food is much more than what we eat.

Food becomes us. It’s no surprise that as we step away from what is natural – entering into a sphere of processed ‘food-like’ substances – we find ourselves stricken with heart disease, cancers and general bodily dis-ease.

This is a video that I think everyone should watch. I know, you’re probably thinking ‘what does this have to do with nature, Jess?’

Food comes from the Earth. Edible food-like substances don’t. As we continue to step away from our roots, our Earth, there are big consequences. Jamie Oliver’s TED talk speaks volumes about food’s role in our lives and the choices we have to make for our children.

Click here for the video and have a wild Monday!

Ahh, l’amour! Love is a many splendor’d thing, love lifts us up where we belong – all you need is love! But of course, we humans aren’t the only ones searching for love. This Valentine’s Day – creatures everywhere are looking for their special someone. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?

To lend my fellow creatures a hand in their quest for their other half, I give you some of their Wild Classifieds.

Quiet, shy, traditional fellow looking for down-to-earth companion to share cabbage, long, long walks in the forest and Clark Gable movies. Won’t you be the carapace to my plastron? Apply in-shell: Stuart.

Tall, dark-eyed female looking for nice guy who smells good and doesn’t chase cars. Must love off-roading, chewing Kleenex and must NEVER hog the frisbee. Please, no bitches.

Seriously, I’m like just looking for a guy, who won’t like, try and spray me on the first date. I mean, really, that’s like totally disgusting and who wants to come home smelling like that? Are you kidding? My mother would freeeeak. Puh-leeze. Contact: Rose

Yes, hello. Is this thing on? Get a hold of yourself, minion. Hello. I am placing this ad to request aid in teaching my human a lesson. He does not prepare spaghetti to my liking and has taken to calling me ‘Trixie’ despite my obvious proclivity towards male dominant behavior. I fear, without the help of a suitable feline – his days are numbered. Respond today and together, we shall rise to the occasion and conquer the enemy. Fare thee well, biped.

Trixie, indeed. Contact: Spartacus

Holla! Lookin 4 a luvly lady to share nibbles of korn, gr8 cuddles and rollz in my plastic ball. Must B fun, Xciting and hate cats. Life is short, baby – so let’s B 4 Realz! No smokerz. Contact: JIMI4EVA

Have a wild Valentine’s Day everybody!

I’m rebelling. We got another lashing of snow last night and I’m currently dreaming of green grass, T-shirt weather and ice cream.

Ok, so I’m pretty much always dreaming of ice cream, but that’s another matter.

In one of my last posts How to Teach Snow a Lesson, we learned that you can show snow who’s boss by pretending it isn’t there. In the spirit of ignoring snow, I thought I’d tell you a spring and summer secret. My lovely readers residing in the southern hemisphere can use this one right now.

Crickets are handy little fellas. They serenade us for hours in search of a mate. Summer nighttimes become busier than Lava Life on Valentine’s Day. But you can use their love songs to do something pretty cool – cricket songs tell you how hot it is. That’s more than you can say for, oh… Justin Timberlake’s songs.

To get the temperature in degrees Fahrenheit, count the number of chirps in 14 seconds. Add 40 to this number and voila, you’re done. So for 35 chirps, we end up with 75 degrees.

For us Celsius lovers, count the number of chirps in 25 seconds. Divide this number by three, then add 4. For 45 chirps, this gives you 19C.

Make sense?

Try it out on your next outdoor adventure and you’ll impress people so much, you’ll have no need for Lava Life.

Keep it wild!